Searching for Truth

Tuesday, 17 March 2015


Why...? Why would I do it? I don't really know except to say writing this book was something I felt I had to do. It was almost like I didn't have a choice. Let me explain.

A long time ago when I was a child, I always felt like I didn't belong here. And by 'here' I mean this planet. I could never connect the way others do, so to make up for that, I immersed myself in books. I could relate to books. I could also relate to nature, and felt more empathy for animals than humans. Humans frightened me. Although I was never abused by my parents, the world to me was a very hostile place. A war zone--even in the nicest neighborhoods. I couldn't--and still can't--understand how people can be so cruel to each other, to the planet and its creatures. I could almost feel their pain. The only person in my family I connected with was my father. He seemed to understand me, and because of him I managed to grow up relatively 'normal.' (Is there such a thing?)

It's not that I am crazy, or mentally disturbed--I'm very far from it. I'm just different. Yes, every human is unique, but I am unique in ways most humans are not. What do I mean by that? It's hard to explain...  All I can tell you is that I see and feel things others don't. For example, I lived in a haunted house once, and never felt afraid. It made me sad actually. I felt bad for the little boy trapped there, even though he would wake me up at 2:30 every night.  For a while, I was angry because I need my sleep, until I understood he was trying to tell me something. I didn't figure it out at first, so for a while things would just happen. I would be cooking dinner, and  I would see flashes of him in my peripheral vision, and then I would hear balls bouncing in my basement. At Christmas time, I think he felt bad because one day when I came home, the stockings were thrown across the room. So I started having conversations with him before I went to bed, and I told him that he didn't live there anymore. He needed to move on. At first, he didn't listen, but after a week or so of talking to him, he didn't wake me up anymore. I knew he had found his way, and that was very satisfying for me.

I also know the power of the universe, because I have connected with it in ways that even I can't explain. Ways that I have never spoken of, and probably never will. Some things...are beyond words.

Physically speaking, I am in a category that I share with perhaps less than 1% of the population. I exceed average height, I am left handed, I have almond shaped green eyes, B- blood and genetically, I was born with 4 less teeth than the general population. (Yes, I wore braces..:). These characteristics on their own may not seem all that unusual, but together, they are extremely rare. What's even more interesting is that both of my parents are under 5'3", and I am a female over 5"8". Both of my parents were also Rh+. I am also highly intelligent--but so was my father.  Now, of course I could be the product of an adulterous relationship, or perhaps even adopted--except for the fact I have some physical characteristics unique to both of my parents.  Why am I so different?   This is why I wrote this book. I've always searched for answers, and I have always been drawn to the universe and the possibilities it contains. Maybe the universe holds the key.....and all we have to do is step inside and listen. 

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